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In this episode Corinna connects with the international motivational speaker and best-selling author, Satori Mateu as they navigate a deep and inspirational conversation about conquering your fear and embracing your purpose. You’ll get a preview into Satori’s new book, Unshakeable Wealth – and even receive a link for the first 2 chapters at no cost.
About Our Guest: Satori Mateu, International Speaker, Author, Coach & Podcaster
Satori himself went from wanting to commit suicide and thinking his own life was just over to living life, fully embracing the adventure.
He has become a world champion in karate, a successful business owner, a two time number one bestselling author. An international speaker, a coach, a proud father and an amazing husband. Satori has helped elevate the performance and revenue for Olympic gold medalists, famous entrepreneurs like Tony Robbins and companies like Mercedes-Benz bank of America and many more.
He is also a podcaster and has a show called Halfass To Badass: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/halfass-to-badass-podcast/id1454358776
Satori’s New Book, Unshakeable Wealth is a top-rated on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Unshakeable-Wealth-Business-Without-Apologies/dp/1942707835/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=unshakeable+wealth&qid=1630450898&sr=8-1
02:30 Satori’s journey from suicidal and depressed to badass
12:50 Breaking negative loops (internal & external)
16:50 The fallacy of motivation
18:20 “The System of Deliberate Growth” Phase Zero (0) = Core Values
20:30 Phase 1: Clarity
24:00 Inspiring challenges
25:51 Why most people don’t achieve their goals
27:23: Phase 2: Eliminate what isn’t you
30:42: Phase 3 – 4: Structure and Momentum
34:30 Layers of benefits
43:28 Struggle vs. Challenge and Support
53:00 Phase 5: Evolution
55:20 The importance of community
59:20 Resource invitation: www.satorimateu.com/evolve
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Hello, fellow do-gooders and friends. I’m your host and activist and cause marketer. Who’s passionate about social impact and sustainability. Today. We’re going to talk about conquering your fears, living better
while providing you with tools for coping, with feelings of overwhelm stress, and even depression.
Before we launch into these subjects and meet our guests, I’d like to invite you to visit caremorebebetter.com. It’s a great resource for new and loyal listeners alike. It includes full transcripts links to our YouTube content, a helpful blog and suggestions for actions that you can take to make a difference in your daily life.
When you sign up for our newsletter, you’ll also be the first to gain access to new episodes and exclusive content. And you can do all of that right there on our site, diving into today’s topic, which is conquering your fear overcoming overwhelm and living your very best life. To navigate these topics. I’m joined today by Satori Mateu. Satori himself went from wanting to commit suicide. Thinking his own life was just over to living life, fully embracing the adventure.
He has become a world champion in karate, a successful business owner, a two time number one bestselling author. An international speaker, a coach, a proud father and an amazing husband. Satori has helped elevate the performance and revenue for Olympic gold medalists, famous entrepreneurs like Tony Robbins and companies like Mercedes-Benz bank of America and many more.
He is also a podcaster and has a show called how fast to bad-ass. I encourage you all to check it out. Satori, welcome to the show.
Thank you. You can hear me well, right?
Perfectly, perfectly. Love that microphone there. Now let’s start with your personal story. How did you conquer your fear and go from being depressed and suicidal to becoming a bad-ass?
That’s a great question. Uh, well, first of all, when I. The whole story rounded. This actually that I, you know, my mom was going to have an abortion and, um, on the abortion table, she decided to not do it, which obviously I’m here. Um, but the interesting thing was that throughout my life, I kept questioning my own worth questioning whether I should be here or not.
And I kept hearing a lot of times, like, you know, my life would’ve been easier if I didn’t have you like all these kind of comments that, you know, as a three-year-old, five-year-old, it’s hard to kind of navigate or understand like what to do with it. But I worked really hard to try to find my place in my worth.
And so at, uh, you know, in my early twenties, I, uh, I was suicidal and I, and I wanted to end it all as you just said. And, um, and I remember the moment when I, you know, I was actually going to do it, then I thought, what if I succeed and. I’m actually being able to see everything, but I can’t do anything about it.
I’m still here, but I can’t do anything about it. So that was fear. Number one, that kind of trigger me to not do anything and freedom material. Is that what if I fail? And I just lay there like a vegetable and I’m still here and I can’t actually fulfill in life. So both of those fears trigger me to decide on a new path and actually do something different.
And, uh, that time I was living in Stockholm in Sweden, which is where I was when I was born and decided to move to the United States. And I moved to, to Los Angeles, to Hollywood, California, and it was my first stepping stone on, uh, changing my mind. Okay. And at that time, when I came there, I felt like I was home for the very first time.
So it was very interesting that when I came there, I felt like I have had opportunity to just be myself without the, um, indoctrination or how I was supposed to be in other people’s eyes. So that was kind of like a stepping stone that gave me the permission to explore myself and who I was and what I wanted to create my life.
And, and literally like in, in, uh, in nine months, uh, I was saying that that’s my most of my birth in nine months, I, I became a world champion karate and opened my martial art school and had a chance to an opportunity to teach a lot of, a lot of, uh, families, a lot of kids and got a chance to work a lot of people.
And then I transitioned from doing the martial arts to really start to understand the importance of your mental health and emotional health and in all the combinations. So most of the time when I worked with families, I started here. People talking about the benefits that guff from my training, and it was not about the kicking or punching.
It was really about the mental aspect of it to balance their balance, their emotions balance their, their, their perspectives, uh, which I’m sure we’re going to talk more about today.
So I’m thinking about you leading this karate school. I personally have also found that physical efforts often are a tool to help me escape any more Morrow’s feelings, right?
Like if I’m starting to feel a little down, getting outside, going for a hike, spending time in the great outdoors, even just a little bit of sunbathing can elevate your sense of wellbeing. And I mean, there’s science behind this that really supports it even just as much as, you know, ensuring you produce vitamin D or breathing fresh air among the trees.
I mean, these things can actually help elevate your mood. So I wonder what tools that you found in addition to this physical effort that helped you in that early stages, because I’m sure that didn’t come overnight.
Right. Uh, yeah, so definitely I was, I did move my body a lot and now one of the things that I started using was, was a synchronize my breath with my movement.
So I would, I would breathe synchronized with my move. So each step and each breath was synchronized. And I started noticing that how I was balancing my neurology and I felt calmer. I felt more peaceful. And even today, you know, if I have a moment where I feel like, you know, brain fog, where I feel like I’ve been working too much, I take get, you know, five or seven minute walk, just breathing.
And of course drinking water always helps. Um, but a lot, a lot of different tools that I’ve used. I think that I, you know, I, I believe like, you know, today, like we live in a world where we are technically, you know, more connected than ever before. Uh, but we’re more Iceland, more separated than ever. And so I noticed that, you know, throughout the day, Period is time that we’re living right now.
Um, I noticed that there’s a lot of my clients started contacting me. I notice that we, we feel like we’re more polarized against each other in some way. And we forgot almost all the time that we, that we, that, that we have actually the same goals. We all want to feel good. We want to have, we want to have a meaningful life.
We want to enjoy our life and the people around us. And so when we started noticing though that the, that, that the polarization of, of us as human beings, um, we have, we have very different belief systems, different ways of, of it all them heading there to, to the goal, to the same goal, to want to feel great, to have a good, great life, right.
I mean, nobody wakes up in the morning and thinking, you know, how can I have an awful life? I can, I can, we’re live subtle bit more today. Right? We’ll, we’ll look for ways to, to feel, uh, that we have a meaningful life and that we have energy and inspiration and feel good. So I think that’s. What I noticed for myself and working with people, I was really upset that the polarization as starts on an individual level.
So what is happening on a mass scale externally? It’s just a reflection of what’s happening internally on an individual level. And I think that the polarization that’s going on internally, it creates an imbalance. So when I’m walking or I do certain kinds of processes for myself mentally, it’s always comes back to creating, going from imbalance to balance or an imbalance at the level of perception, meaning that, you know, when we perceive more drawbacks and benefits, more negatives than positives, more, more challenged and support, and we go into imbalance.
So when we balanced our perspectives, when we can see that the benefits and the drawbacks are equal, we can start having actual, real gratitude. So. Today, if we watch, you know, in the news or around us, you know, we, we look at the, uh, a lot of people live in fear and which leads to hopelessness, depression, anxiety, you know, what you talked about and, you know, and it becomes a state where we become almost crippled or handicap, like, you know, we become apathetic and where we almost believe that we can do anything right.
That we’re becoming mobilized. And I think that’s part of death. Right? I, when I, when I think back to him wanting to commit suicide is because I didn’t have any vision. My vision of the future was gone. It was, it was more darkness than light, right. It wasn’t the future. And if there’s no future, then why live.
Right? So that is the. You know, illusion when we believe that that imbalance actually exists, that we don’t have any future. So I think it’s, I don’t know if that answers your question, but
I mean, it does. Uh, the, one of the things that gets me thinking about is just this whole concept of overwhelm. And when you talk about something like, um, feeling immobilized, right?
Why does that occur? Why does that happen to people? I generally think it occurs when they feel so overwhelmed because everything seems bigger than them. And so they don’t know where to start and because they don’t know where to start. They therefore just kind of retract and then it becomes a cyclic, um, issue where the fear feeds itself, the overwhelm feeds itself and you stagnate and that results in these feelings of apathy.
And then from there, apathy is a slippery slope to feeling depressed and helpless. And when you feel depressed and hopeless, then suddenly, you know, your life may seem like it’s less worth living. Like what’s the point like that general conclusion in your mind can then become what’s the point of even being here.
And so I’ve only had that occur in my life. Perhaps once and I never would have termed it. So with Seidel, because it’s not like I was thinking of the action of ending my life, but I was pretty depressed and getting out of bed would seem like a hard task. That’s the extent to which it had become for me.
And so when you think about that as kind of this sliding or spiraling, I think those images can, can help you understand what it can be. But if we can think about how to then circle back. I mean, there’s, there’s a solution and that’s the circling back up, right? You can, that spiral can go two directions.
And if we seek to bite off the smaller chunks, do the things that we can actually have an effect over to improve our own mental health and then take one step and put it in front of the other. Then the action you can lead to is, you know, getting to your higher self and to greater success, which is I think something that you have demonstrated.
And so I’d like for you to talk about this kind of Mount Everest system, I’m sorry, Mount Everest syndrome, but if it feels so overwhelming, then, then how do you bite that down into smaller chunks? Or how do you break it down into smaller chunks so that you can ultimately head on that journey and be successful?
Great question. Great question. So if throughout this whole process, you know, w what I looked at, um, is that. If we look at it as, as an internal experience and an extra experience, right? So we have both, right. We have the internal experience of our thoughts habits. Our loops that we know we do with our habit loops are thoughts.
Loops are emotional loops are behavioral loops. There are internal. And then we have the external loops, uh, or just how we interact with other people, how, how we, in how we are in the world. And just to give an example of what I mean by that is that, and I spoke to a client the other day and she, um, she works for a big corporation and she says to me the other day, she’s like, well, you know, when I worked at the, in the office, you know, we used to have these coffee breaks, we socialize, we talk to each other, right.
And today, you know, we’re stuck in front of a computer screen talking to each other on, on teams or zoom or, and, and even if that gives people, you know, it gives people more freedom in, in one way. So just as people have just their benefits and. To working from home, there are also drawbacks, right? You can sit in your PJ’s, right.
It’s going to have a suit on or a blouse on, on the top and sit in your underwear if you want it. Right. And, uh, and you have this connection. You can have more freedom like that. Right. But I think that when we understand that there are both benefits and drawbacks. And when we realize, when we understand that we’re only when we live in the illusion that we’re seeking a one-sided life, we seeking a life with only benefits and no drawbacks, or we’re looking for life that is only up and no down.
And we’re looking for life that is, you know, has, you know, more happiness than sadness. And we chasing that and thinking that we’re going to be able to eliminate the, the other part. We, we are going from one polarity to the next. So when we start on identifying that and understanding. Both sides, both polarities up and down.
They’re always going to exist, challenges and support, right? You’re going to have struggles, right. Then you’re going to have things that go the white the way you want it to go. And when we have the expectation to begin with that is only going to be one side, then we’re living in the fantasy. And I think that is a key principle or key component to think about, to begin with, to realize I will never be able to divorce the other side.
I will always have both sides and if it can embrace both sides and actually start seeing what are the benefits in this so-called challenge in this so-called problem that I only seem to see negatives about. If I can start seeing the benefits and how it’s actually serves me, how is it useful? Because when we get down, we only think that it’s just stated, and we don’t see the insight, the lesson, the value in that part.
I think so that’s, that’s one piece, but I started to look at how can I structure this? Because today with our mental health, the real problem is when you perceive more drawbacks and benefits, when we have the illusion that there’s no way out. Right? So the first thing, when I designed this, the whole structure and it wasn’t easy.
I mean, because I had to break down all the components of personal development, personal growth, neuroscience, biochemistry, biology, like all different things, uh, therapies. And like I put over 25 years of research and studying and trying to figure this things out primarily because I want to try to figure out my own life to begin with, but seeing how.
People were struggling with these things. So I found that and I’ll explain what I mean by this, but I find that people don’t need motivation. And I looked at that because motivation comes from the outside. It’s like a motive to act, and it’s usually coming from externals. But when you are inspired, it’s, you’re inspiring.
It comes from within, and that’s our breaking down the idea that we all have different values. And when we can look at and understand what are my values, and I’m not talking about social idealism, you know, I’m not talking about, you know, being honest or, you know, all this kind of thing. I’m talking about what you life demonstrates that you actually value.
So there’s certain things that you put your focus on. There’s certain, certain things that you love to spend your time on your energy on, right? The things that you like to think about, like you, like you love to talk about and things that you, that like, even this podcast, right? Like this is something that’s, it’s juicy for you.
It inspires you, gets you going, it gives you energy because it’s in your values, right. It’s in your value system. So I think that the first time that this part of our structure, we call it the core. And I believe that I designed it to. To be in charge of your life, be in charge of your perceptions. Because like I said earlier, life begins and ends at a low level of perception.
So, which is why we created this system, what I call deliberate growth and it’s an operating system and it includes a personal component, but it also includes a community component because the collaborative component, because we are here with people, right. And we want to engage with people that we, that we love and care about and that we want to grow with.
Um, you want me to share a little bit about how that, how I see it, how that works?
I mean, it sounds to me like you may be, um, leading into this six phase system that you’ve developed, which I’ve been itching to learn more about. So if you can give us that 30,000 foot view of what this program looks like, I would personally love that.
I think my listeners would too.
Okay. Beautiful. Beautiful. So, uh, first of all, I, I. The first phase, like what I call ground zero, right? It’s like, it’s like, it’s the first phase is the core. Right. And which is the foundation. So I look at it with w w without it, without understanding the core, nothing matters.
And with it, everything is possible because you can try to build any successful business you want, you can want to have the most successful family. You can want to change the world. You can do all kinds of great things, but if your core is not solid, it will always be on shaky ground. And so core is understanding your core values, your core habit loops because inside of it, and it’s where instead of trying to live someone else’s life, you’re living your life.
And so we all have certain things, components that we bring to life. But you have just like your fingerprints. There are very unique. There’s no one like you. And when we can bring that uniqueness and understand what are my core values, let me not try to live into someone else’s values. And that I think that’s, I mean, we could talk about this for hours long conversation, a big topic, but you know, most people that try to live into other people’s values and that’s where all the guilt and shame lives, that’s where guilt and shame starts because someone told you with their value structure, this is wrong, and this is bad.
This is good. You know, you should do this thing like this. And we, we have this conversation, this notion of I should, should, should I should do this. Right. I ought to do that. And if you think about most, most you’re saying I should eat better. I should work out more. I should work harder or I should spend more time with my family.
If it’s your values, you don’t have to shoot it. You just do it because you love it. And it’s, it’s your core values. And when you start thinking, I should do this, it’s a pretty strong guarantee that it’s actually someone else’s values, not your own. You tend to live up to someone else’s values. So that means that you, first of all, got to strip away what is not your values and understand what are your core values.
And second of all, it starts seeing like, what are my internal thoughts? What, what gives me energy and what, what pulls, what destroys managing what drains me? You, what do I love talking about? And. What bores me. Right? So you restart an understanding, what is the core, and then looking at what are the habits?
So all this is part of phase zero, or like a ground zero, but understanding the core. Then we go into phase one, which is all about clarity. We understand, we have clarity, well, where we are right now, where we want to go, what we want to create. And we have crystal clear, it’s like a laser beam where, you know, where are you going?
Anything is possible, but when you don’t have clarity, you’re lost.
Right. So earlier when you were talking about phase zero, so to speak and getting to your core, I immediately was thinking about people who struggle with finding their place. When they don’t know what they should be doing and they are kind of adrift at sea.
So they kind of go from job to job. They may vacillate in their career. They haven’t figured out really what they want to do, what fuels them. And so it really gets back to not understanding what their core and what their values are, because without that piece to guide you, it’s like, you’re, you’re essentially out there without a compass.
You don’t know, you don’t directionally know which way to go. So that’s, I mean, I just love that. So let’s talk a little bit more about clarity because I think this is the part where people, if they haven’t done the core values part, or they have even, they just may not necessarily know what to do with it.
And this is something that, um, I’ve been clear with my whole life. I’ve always known that I wanted to live well by doing good. And so. To me that meant I would work in the natural products industry to build supplements and foods that could help better people’s health. So if I’m selling something, at least I’m selling something that I know does good.
Right. And then sourcing mindfully and funding, not for profit projects, like vitamin angels or water projects or building playgrounds for kids like that has always kept my juices flowing. Right. So I’ve known that purpose my whole life. And I know a lot of people who don’t necessarily have that driving them.
So they’re again, kind of at sea adrift. So let’s talk about clarity. I I’m just like, I’ve got my pad of paper here because I want to help more people too, right?
Yes. Yes, of course. And I’m sure that when you, when you talk about all the things that you love doing, it doesn’t feel like work.
That’s why he started this podcast.
It doesn’t feel like work. I mean, it takes a lot of effort, but effort and work, they, they seem like two different
things, right? Yes, exactly. And that’s, that’s the interesting thing that you say that because I look at is that when challenge will you have inspiring challenges? I mean, you you’re focused on things that inspire you that are in your highest values.
That’s what, you know, in technical terms, we call youth stress, right? It’s a healthy stress for you because it’s used for us. It’s like, it’s inspiring challenges, but when you have regular stress, that kind of breaks you down is because you are taking on challenges that are uninspiring. So you’re doing things that are not aligned with your values.
And, you know, um, I made some corny when I say this, but if you don’t have a plan for your life, someone else has a plan for you, right? Right. If you don’t plan and you don’t feel your time, your day, your, your hours with things that are meaningful and inspiring to you, you will be filled in with something that uninspiring aren’t fulfilling and draining you.
And so therefore, if you’re trying to fit into someone else’s values most, unless you can see the connection between your values, you will be just trying to live in someone else’s life. And that will never feel fulfilling. So I guarantee you, like, you know, there are lots of people that believe and feel and are inspired by the things that you are inspired by.
And when you can engage in magnet, you know, draw to you, people like that, everybody’s going to feel energized by it. Right? And so you may look a little bit different than maybe a little different form, and everybody’s going to pull their little things to it. But clarity is the first piece. Cause that’s why I say, you know, without the values, then people try to set goals.
They’re are not aligned with their values. And that’s why I believe the core reason why most people don’t achieve their goals or, or feel so-called not motivated or uninspired to pursue them because they’re setting goals because they believe they have to, or they should. I, I heard this thing and you should, you should really set goals.
I think it’s really good. So goals, and instead of goal, they’re not bringing their values to it. They’re just setting a goal that they think they should have. I should lose weight. I should eat better. Yeah. I’m going to definitely stop smoking and they have really no intention of stopping smoking, but, you know, somebody told them that they should, and they know it’s bad for you to smoke.
So, you know, that’s my goal. But they don’t follow through on it because they’re not inspired from within, and it’s not connected to the values. Then they don’t see the connection. Everybody has values. They’re not connected. They don’t understand what, what they are. So when I say clarity is to have crystal clarity about not only where you are right now or where you want to go, but actually having the guts to be brutally honest with yourself, brutally honest about where you are right now, where you want to go and what’s missing.
Like, what’s the, what is the gap here what’s missing here and be able to tell the truth about it. It may be a resource external resource. It may be some internally that you need to strengthen or, or let go of which actually kind of brings us into the phase two. To Isabel elimination to eliminate, to eliminate the stuff that isn’t you, the stuff that stops you, that slows you down that creates more friction like unnecessary friction.
And that could be same thing that it could be internal stuff, or it can be external stuff you may have. Uh, you know, sometimes people ask me, you know, I wanna, I want to achieve this. I can. Okay. And they’re like, how long is that gonna take? I used to look at like, you know, like a timeframe, like, you know, you have a timeline from where you are right now and you want to go here.
Like, I’m making like a timeline right now. I’m with my hands. And if you listened to this and the timeline is going to extend, the more junk you have between your ears. I mean, the more stories you have and why you can’t do things and why it’s going to be hopeless or where’s the more stuff we have inside our heads internally, the longer it’s going to take.
So. Thinking about to eliminate things. I’ve looked at what are the thought patterns that I need to let go? What kind of worries or fears? And I’m not saying that that’s, that is easy and like just happening right away. That’s just started getting clarity about what you want, knowing where you want to go understanding the gap and then looking at what do I need to let go?
What friction, what honestly, like it’s almost like pruning, right? You have this beautiful garden and you remove weeds. You prune the garden and you remove things are not necessary. And that could be external stuff too. I mean, it could be, you know, your surroundings could be in your environment at home, right.
It may be certain, maybe it may be a job, right. That you actually, you spend so much time there and you, so not trusting of your abilities that you stay in this job because it feels secure. But by the time you come home, you’re right. Inspiration your real values. You’re so tired that you have no energy left,
Well, what you get me thinking about as you’re talking about, this is something really that has become clear to me over the years, and that is when I’m stressed. I have a much harder time. Getting the noise out. And so I’ll start to get into this negative loop of, oh, well, I can’t, because I just don’t have enough time right now.
I’ve got these other 16 things to do. And so because of that, I started to getting this negative doubting kind of perspective and it all comes back to stress because if I was less stressed, my attitude and my approach and everything would be a little different, it would be like, oh, I’ve got these 16 things I have to do.
I’m going to just start checking them off. And then I’ll get to this other part that I need to then, um, progress in this area that I’ve detailed for myself, this goal that I’m going towards. So I think I would like to hear from you. You know how you kind of cut through that noise. I know that this is a journey and it’s probably something that’s continual where you have to come back to it, come back to it, come back to it.
Even as you’ve gone through however many phases, there are to become your best possible self and your most productive self. You still have to go back and kind of do that as you’re heading forward. So if you can offer perspective or even examples, I think that would be
awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. So once we do, once we do do the elimination part, we’ll go into the next phase, which is actually structure.
And I think that that’s the piece that I think, um, it’s so interesting because structure, sometimes people will think that it’s restricting, but I think structure equals freedom. And so when I was writing my book, for example, I said, I wanted to write a book and I had the idea of writing a book and I wasn’t implementing this little piece that I’m sharing with you right now because it was, I started stopped, started, stopped.
But when I decided that, okay, this thing is worth my energy, it’s worth my efforts toward my worth my focus, then only to have a structure. So what I would do is I would block, in my case, I would block four hours in the morning. And during this four hours, I would have everything that needed like water.
And I moved my body in the morning before I started writing. And, and I made sure that I didn’t have my phone on. I only, I, the only thing I had was my timer on. So I set it for 50 minutes of focus and that took a 10 minute break, 50 minutes focused, 10 minute break, 50 minute focus, 10 and break. And I did that until the book was, was done.
So the structure was that in my calendar, I, I protected this time block. I protected with my life. Cause I know just like when I have a client, you know, we scheduled a time when we were going to have our session. Nothing else is going to come between that and that session time, unless it was some kind of accident or something happens.
Right. But that’s the time. So I had to block that time and make an appointment with myself and making sure that nothing else was prioritized unless, you know, the building was burning in somebody who needed my help in that was more important. But otherwise that was my time. I didn’t schedule any, any client calls at that time.
They had to come in the afternoon. So I was at work from eight in the morning till noon and just focused on that. And I think blocking time, we all can say, you know, well, if it’s not in your schedule and it doesn’t exist, but I’ve had many times where I’ve written things down in my schedule and still haven’t done it.
So just writing it down your calendar is not as, it’s not a recipe for like, oh, now it’s going to happen. Right. So we need to come from the perspective. This thing that I want to accomplish, this thing that I want to create, it’s so important to me. And the way I came to the point of making an important, I wrote down, this may sound crazy, but I wrote down 250 benefits or me writing this book, what are the benefits to me?
And to the reader stolen? The reader reads the book. Like I had to put myself, what are the benefits for this person on all kinds of levels? So the way, the way I do that, um, let me just ask you this. Just, I think that would make it more real for the listeners as well. And what is the benefit of your podcast?
Well, the benefit of my podcast, well, I think it’s inspiration and also just overcoming those feelings of, I can’t make a difference. So that’s how I see it
anyway. Yes. So when you say like, you know, like overcoming the, the, the thinking, right. That can make a difference and what’s the benefit of that
benefit of that is that you can, you can actually do some good and ultimately feel more satisfied in your life and with yourself.
Yes. And what’s the benefit of that?
I think it’s far reaching because if you feel like you can be an effective person, if you feel like you can push forward change, then suddenly your whole world can open up. So, I mean, that’s how I see it. Um, right. Because
it gives me,
it gives me more mental energy. Yeah.
Physical energy. Sure. It gives you better. You can be more present. Right. You can be better mom. Right, right. But there’s all these things that are odd are layers of benefits. So I usually go, and I just using this example because a good way to think about like, okay, what’s the benefit of this? And then you go several layers, deep.
And what’s the benefit of that. So I think like sometimes, you know, okay. If I, if I let’s say sleep, let’s just see sleep as something that’s very important. Right. So, okay. What’s the benefit of me being rested? Well, my brain functions better, so mentally and physically I’m going to function better. I’ll have more energy.
Okay. What’s the benefit of that? Well, I’ll be, I’ll be more present with my clients, with my family, my kids, my, my, my colleagues. Okay, great. Then what’s the benefit of that I can contribute. I can be more loving. I can be more caring. Right? So it’s like, when you, when you layer the benefits, you literally neurologically you were restructuring a reign, like that’s actually what’s happening on, on a physical level in your brain.
And I look at it as just as a interference. Right. They all dial up was very, very slow, right? And today, you know, internet can be very, very fast. And so the more of these connections you make more of these benefits, you make the faster, the connection, the less mental effort it takes. And the more naturally you will feel inspired from within because it connects you value.
So I asked myself the question, what is the benefit to the people I’m going to serve? What’s the benefit to myself and how will this fulfill my values? And when I started thinking about how it’s going to fulfill my values and I make that connection and people literally what I think is so cool about is that when you make these connections and you’re not, you don’t have to do 250.
I would say, you know, that’s a good aim, but even if you did 50, 50 benefits or a hundred benefits, when these benefits come to life, you literally create new connections in your brain. That didn’t exist before. Like they didn’t exist. You literally creating new connections, new wiring that was not there before.
And so most people think like it should just come by itself, but by making these connections, you’re literally creating a connection, a muscle, the new nerve cell that wasn’t there before.
And so, I mean, you’re talking about, it’s like rewiring your brain, like you’re literally rewiring or programming, how you think feel and ultimately exist.
Yes. Wow. I mean, this is just so many, you know, light bulbs going off in the background for me, but really, I mean, it seems to me like you’ve created a blueprint for how to essentially. Just correct. Your thinking so that you can be more effective, correct. You’re thinking from the negative loops and from, you know, the challenges that you might face that are external as well, because everybody faces those challenges.
And this is something you talked about earlier on that, you know, you’re going, no matter what you do, you’re going to have things that make you happy. And then you’re going to have things that challenge you and create struggle. But it’s how you’re responding to that. And utilizing something like this could actually help you to reframe things without simply hearing, oh, you just need to reframe this.
And let me give you an example, because I think you can hear a hundred examples, but without a framework to do it, it just, um, I think it kind of falls on deaf ears. And I don’t want to say that those many coaches out there who are saying, oh, there’s, here’s 16. Examples of how to reframe. Without kind of bringing it back to your values.
I think that it lacks the punch that it would need to become an ingrained habit,
correct? Yes, because we already have habits. It’s not like we don’t have habits. We all have habits and a lot of habits and probably some, and, and, and I look as it’s not like, you know, you can say, you know, their good habits and bad habits, but it really depends on the goal.
Right. For some person, right. They want to gain weight and it’s for some other person, they want to lose weight. I mean, it’s the opposite, the goals. So w is the one good and one bad? No, it’s just the better. What is your, what is your outcome? What do you want to achieve? You know, so if you, if you know what your goal is, the strategy to get there.
And I think that this part of working with athletes, because if you have a tennis player that’s serving and you know, tennis is a serving and they keep doing the same mistake over and over, and they just gonna get more, more frustrate. So the need to deliberately shift deliberately, intentionally shift how they think and how they do things.
And once they keep doing something over and over the correct way, I mean that they see produce results. Then now that becomes easy for them. And I think that’s the piece that is it. We’re, we’re not different from, uh, from a, from an professional athletes because our life, you know, is our level, our playground for performance.
So, you know, either you wake up and you’re, you’re frustrated and you’re irritated and you’re feeling down and you feel like you have no purpose or you feel like you’re inspiring, you are on purpose and you feel like life is for you, not against you. And, and I’m not meaning to say that as a, as a positive thinking, kind of like, oh, that sounds like a smart thing to say, but really like understanding, like when we think about something.
We think of as a challenge, real problem that we see is like, we only see the obstacles. We’re looking at the situation as it’s in the way, rather than being on the way. And the reason why we think that it’s in the way, meaning we only see the obstacle is we’re not seeing how this thing actually helps us how it serves us.
But if we think about it, we just break it down to the most simple thing. If we go to a gym and we want to build a bicep and we take a one pound weight and we stand there, we can stand there all day long and nothing will happen. Really? Nothing will happen the way that muscle grows is that it, it, it, you, you’re pushing against resistance and you’re giving that muscle something to work again.
It looks like it’s against, right? Like just like gravity and the same thing with all the challenges in life, they’re there for you to help you grow and develop yourself. And again, I’m not saying this to try to sound positive at all. I’m actually saying it because it’s in natural law of physics. If you’re nothing to resist, you won’t grow period.
So instead of thinking of these challenges, these problems, I mean, I’ve dealt with some of the most challenging situations. I mean, people have lost their kid and like, they’re not going to want to hear. Oh, but great. So what are the benefits that your kid died? I mean, then we’re going to put a punch in the face.
Right, right. Best is. So look at, uh, to understand the pain and to see like I’m literally, I’ve, I’ve had people when the kid died in birth. And in that moment, nobody. So any benefits, right? Right. But then the realized later on that, you know, they were so unhappy in their lives and, and nothing that they were doing was changing any direction.
And this was a trigger that made in question the life in may the, you start evaluating, what do I value? What is important to me? And I’m completely in the wrong place in life. It’s not for me. And, and when they started seeing that this moment actually helped them to wake up and change the whole direction of the life, right.
When we started working through it. But it’s interesting because w we, I look at as like the, the wider, the perspective. The more you see, the more you will see,
you know, you’re reminding me of a book that I read in my MBA courses, um, called the leadership challenge by Barry Posner. I mean, it’s a celebrated book.
I think it’s had many, many additions by now, but one of the things that he says in this book that he postulates is that when you’re looking for a leader, they have to want to struggle. And I challenge that. Like, I, it was something that really I had a hard time with because I don’t think anybody wants to struggle.
However, that’s the terminology difference, right? If you want to conquer challenges, if you want to be able to see the opportunity in the challenge, I mean, that’s the same thing, but it’s just a language difference. I wouldn’t have used the term wants to struggle. Um, but I think he chose to use that term because I think when you’re in a leadership position, you have to almost look at it like it’s a battle map and say, okay, so here’s the war I have to fight.
And here’s the battle I have to fight. And these are the things, these are the, the leavers. I can pull an order to, you know, surmount that mountain. I am going to need to struggle to climb that hill, but it will be worth it because, and so, you know, I think there is some really valuable perspectives in that, but I still always felt like the word struggle was a wrong choice because it automatically brings this negative kind of tone with it.
And I feel like when you’re telling people that you want them to reframe their thinking already and see the opportunity, as opposed to the challenge, the moment you start to use terminology, like struggle. It kind of like, I don’t know. It deflates me as an example. I don’t know if it does that with everybody, but it definitely made it feel like you were just putting a brick on my head.
Yes. Yeah. I completely see that for sure. For sure. And I think that’s the part, it, when we start thinking about that and understanding, okay, so I’m going to have, I will have support and I will have challenges in my life. They’ll both exist. And I think that that. The highest level growth literally happens right there at the border.
Uh, but right at the border of challenge and support, that’s where maximum growth happens. So when you have too much, too much struggle or too much things to take on, you get overwhelmed. And that’s where we get into that. You know, we, we feel, we don’t move, we get, I can’t do anything. Right. And when you are below that line, when you have no challenge and you only have support, you become like a child, right.
So you, you, there’s no growth. Like you don’t have to do anything like, you know, mommy or daddy will do everything for me, like, right. So it feels right. So we want to have that kind of edge. So we’re right on the edge. Challenging ourselves, but in a, but that’s why I said, if you take on challenges that are in alignment with your values, you will be inspired.
And that’s when you have the youth stress and little, when you have a user, your brain is consistently growing. You are reshaping, remolding, your brain consistently. The actual opposite happens too. When you are in the stress that we don’t like when we’re doing things that are uninspiring to us, we’re our brain is really degenerating.
It’s like, it’s going the other way. And that’s what I think is so critical. And it’s so key that we understand what our values are and live according to them and filter away everything else. We need to make it more important to not try to please other people. And I think that the key here is not just understand that pleasing people is not the same as caring for people.
Like I can care about people. But pleasing people is just a way to try to buy love instead of way, to buy affection, to buy approval. You don’t want people. And I know this for the very fact that I’ve lived like that most of my life, you know, apologizing and wanting to please people make people to be happy with me, always wanting people to, you know, to prove.
But that’s a fear-based focus. Caring means that I care about your happiness, your fulfillment, your, your way in life. I want you to have a great life and I do because I care about you. Not so that you will like me. And I think theirs is that, so that sentence in there, so that, that makes it the difference.
So in a pleasing people as not caring for you or for others, So if you want to care more and be better, right? I think, yes, it’s really to like own your values, live in them. Be completely unapologetic about your values and strip away everything that is not your values and only put your energy and your focus on the things that provide energy for you.
It keeps you alert and focus a challenge. You, you, but in the aspiring way, that’s where you will be the most productive. And that’s where you will be able to serve people and have a social impact. That’s where you will be your greatest version. And I think that the key to that is to start becoming aware.
What isn’t you? I love the whole thinking about, you know, Michael and Angela, right? The statue of David, right. Is stripping away everything that is not David. Like the whole perfect thing was already there. We’re just chipping away. What is in you. Right. And, and that getting, getting connection with the core of you, the real you, the authentic you, and that’s where you’re going to have be able to love people.
Well, I love that. Um, I really feel like I’ve got a snapshot now of not only what your book might be about. Um, but also, you know, this journey, this six, um, tools that you have. So what we talked about so far was the core clarity and structure. And I know we only have about probably 10 minutes left or so, um, for the podcast, but if you could just quickly highlight what the last three are.
I want to taste of that. I want to get a feel.
Yes, absolutely. So we talked about court, right? Clarity, eliminate and structure. You start talking about structure, how to structure your day or your time you focus and make sure that everything that you’ve got clarity on now we’re implementing this structure.
And then we go to momentum. So momentum is the actual next phase. And phase momentum is where the implementation is, where the, where the integration happens. It’s where the action is taken because people can have all kinds of inspiring thoughts and ideas, and they may even have a plan for it, but without the execution of it without the implementation, this is just becomes a fantasy.
And I think going back to values again, if you don’t set goals in alignment with your values, that plan that you want to put in motion to create momentum, to create traction was Mo will most likely just be a fantasy, but the moment you connect your values to your, what you want and what you eliminate in the end, create the structure.
Then momentum will happen when you start seeing that. It doesn’t have to be fast, but surely you’re moving towards what you want. It’s a good sign that you are, you’re moving in the right direction because it’s an alignment with your values. And that’s where momentum happens is that that’s not what the snowball effect happens.
So momentum is critical for several reasons, because once you get momentum, you get over that thing that we talked about earlier, which is the story that I can’t do this, but the moment you get some momentum, you get proof, oh, I can do this. Huh? It is possible. Look what I actually did, right? Oh, I did the first part.
Oh, look, and I recorded a second episode and the third one and a fourth one, and all of a sudden, like you have momentum and as you’re creating momentum, you’re certainty in your ability grows. And when you certainty in your ability grows your worth gross, you literally you’re worth gross. So you actually have an ability to impact and influence your own worth.
So for every time you, you keep your word with yourself, to yourself, you are indoctrinating in a, in a, in a good way. You inducted into yourself, huh? I actually have the ability to do this. I can do this. And this level of certainty grows and your inspiration grows even fulfillment grows. And the momentum that the whole momentum keeps growing.
Once we’ve done that, we come into the last phase, phase six. Evolve. And that’s, that’s the core of the whole thing that we want to create, but deliberate growth, it ends with evolution. So when we come to evolve, evolve phase, this is where we evaluate. We measure, we, we learn, we get insights, we make adjustments on how we can up-level things.
So when we come to the evolve phase, we’ll literally come back to ground zero. We come back to the core and we reevaluate our values. We look at and, and make it even more synchronistic. We make it even more specific. We bring it even closer to really get to know because, you know, somebody can say, well, I value growth, or let’s say about your health.
And as I say, well, I value health too. So we both value health. That one person’s definition of I value health is I want to go to the gym every day. And someone else is like, Hey, I want to make sure that I created a sustainable world where we put natural foods now bodies. And we are, you know, making sure that we’re not, you know, spraying the world with, you know, glyphosate, right?
Like what is our definition of health? So we can still value health. But when we go from evolve, we go back to the core and redefine and make it even more specific, more. Right, as we keep circling it. And, and I think as we keep doing that, we keep evolving. We keep bringing things to the next levels, just like an immune system keeps growing, right.
We, we get sick and it gets stronger and we keep doing things to evolve. Our immune system will say anything here. We keep evolving as human beings, our minds, our bodies, our spirituality, like everything. We keep evolving ourselves. And, uh, I know kinda what, what, I’m, what, I’m the story of how I came here.
Um, right now I’m in Cypress, right? And I look over this beautiful Mediterranean waters every day and the mountains and the sea, the sea, everything. And when I came here, um, I saw this opportunity to actually build something here, like a community. And I thought about that, how we, how can we create a community where we are building.
The health structures, right. Where we can have the healthy, that the nature with both the clean air, clean water, clean food, right. And how, how can we have collaborations with people? People can have all their beautiful ideas and thoughts and, and their values. Now, how can we make them infiltrate with each other so we can keep evolving and challenging each other and caring about each other so that you have that the balance of support and challenge, support, and challenge, challenges of board.
So, and, and that’s where we’re creating right now. We’re like we’re building this community where people are coming here and entrepreneurs and people from all around the world coming here to, to eat, eat better, think better, do things, you know, to improve, uh, literally like our whole community that we’re building.
We’ll uh, have we’re taking, we’re using all electricity from solar panels and we are bringing the energy through there, through there and giving it back to the, to the government so they can actually pay us for the extra energy. And that will make sure that the people inside of the community can live for free.
I have to tell you on the heels of us connecting, I was like, that’s it. I need to renew my passport.
Okay. So I sent that application in just after we talked, because I let it lapse because COVID, and who’s traveling. I mean, I haven’t been on an international flight in over two years now. Right. So, um, it’s, it’s time. It’s time to get back out there. Um, and I love what you’re working to build in Turkey. So I’m going to quickly sum up, I believe you covered core and really getting to your values, clarity, and really getting clear on what your goals and objectives are that are ruined in your Valerie values, rooted in your values.
One little key there with clarity. I think it’s important because like you said earlier, there’s so many things that people want accomplish. Yeah. And I would pick one pick, maybe two things. Yeah. That’s it. And you don’t do the next thing until the first thing is.
Trying to do six things at once going in six directions.
You can you stay still when you’re doing?
Yeah. Um, we, we, we both know how challenging it could be to start and build a business. Well, try to build three businesses, a four business at the same time. No, it’s like an org. Yeah. I
mean, you can invest in three or four businesses at the same time, if you have the resources to do so, but doing the work on your own, that’s a different story.
Right? So then you talked about structure and I love structuring my day. I live by my calendar. I think it’s an important way to guide your life. So I personally love that tool, but then we moved on to talking about momentum and evolution. I feel like I missed one in here. So perhaps you said it and I just didn’t write it down.
So we have core clarity structure and then I had momentum and evolve. So what’s number four,
I would say. So we have, we’ve got core. We’ve got clarity. So, so, so the course starts with, with, with zero,
uh that’s. Right, right. So that was before core. So we do have six and I didn’t miss anything, um, in my notes here.
So yeah, I’m very much looking forward to seeing the PDF resource that your team built. And I want to be able to share that with the audience and also the book that you wrote. I just tell us how we find out more about you. Where do we go to connect with Satori material?
Yes. So, uh, we did something special for, for this, for your audience, for your listeners and we credit so, well, maybe, maybe hard to spell sometimes, but, uh, Satori, S a T O R I, and my last name Mateo, M a T E U.
So Satori material.com forward slash evolve. Okay, so Satori material.com/evolve. And that is a, um, because we, we creating so many things right now, we’re really getting into momentum and a lot of things and want to serve people at a really high level. So what we did with this evolve, it’s, it’s a, it’s a waitlist for, um, because we, we build the physical community, but in the meantime, we want to be able to serve people on a digital level and digital platform.
So it’s a, it’s a weight is to be able to be part of the digital platform, Josh understand it. And we, once people sign up on the wait list, they will get the first two chapters of unshakeable wealth. And I think that, you know, you, you probably right when you understand what the book is about, it’s wealth in the truest sense, um, because wealth, the core word or wealth as wellbeing, um, it’s an old, old word wealth, but, um, Without your wealth without wellbeing, without your health and nothing else matters.
Right? So unshakeable wealth is about all the things that we’ve talked about today, uh, in a, in a different forum. I’m speaking about it from a different form, but the core of it go into a lot of these balancing and perspectives in the book as well. So the first two chapters will be there and they will also get the, the map of the six phases that we talked about today.
incredible. I very much look forward to reviewing that myself as well. I will be sure to carry over all of the links that you mentioned and notes on our discussion today in show notes. So people can go to that. They can skip around on the podcast, that parts of the different messages that we discussed.
So I really, I just thank you so much for your time. I would love to just invite you to leave our audience with one thought or message before we wrap up.
Yes. Ah, good question. Well, message. I think that they’re mostly right. So many left messages, right? I think, um, the core message is that if, and I think that brings back everything that we talked about, that if you don’t feel your life or with meaningful, inspiring, and energizing, Activities, it will be filled with uninspiring and unfulfilling and meaningless activities.
And we all have the ability by understanding our core values to choose carefully what those values are to really be picky about it and to make it more important, to feel fulfilled, then fulfilling others. What I mean by that is that when you fulfill yourself, you will actually have something genuinely to give.
And I think that is the core because we are naturally wants to contribute and make a difference in people’s lives. And so when we can fill ourselves by being inspired, by being inspired, rather than trying to be motivated from the outside. We’ll be able to contribute to people in a, in a real and genuine way because people get to see us the real us.
You’re a couple spill it over, right? Yes. Kind of a biblical message in all of this at the same time. So important thoughts, important ideas. Thank you. As a Tory Mateo for all you do. Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you. It was a pleasure being here
now, listeners, I’d like to invite you to act. It doesn’t have to be huge.
It doesn’t have to feel like you’re climbing Mount Everest. It could be as simple as sharing this podcast with people in your community that you think would benefit from it. You could even visit Satori Mateo’s website and that special link that he’s providing to all of us, just Satori, matteo.com/, and I did write this down.
That’s right. We did it at the same time. So you could even listen to his podcast. Half-ass to bad-ass and I will include links of that in the show notes as well. And I would have, after all, you really never know where you’re going to get your next inspiration from. And that very show could be it as always show notes are available on every platform and a full transcript of our discussion today will be on my website.
I care more, be better.com. So visit there and let’s connect. Thank you so much listeners now, and always for being a part of this pod and this community, because together we really can do so much more. We can care more and we can be better. Thank you.